Patience

Patience, a necessary life skill

To begin with, I was never a patient person!

I am a type A personality, who sets goals, makes plans how to reach these goals and deals fast and efficiently with any obstacles on the way!

I am very goal oriented, after all, I was born with very small arms, and I had to learn how to be independent by using my feet for all daily tasks.

Not a small feat, considering that I grew up in Germany, in an era where having a disability was viewed as shameful and hopeless.

I grew up being able to focus on my goals, but having very little patience with things taking much longer than I thought they should take.

Then, the unthinkable happened on May 17, 2012: I suffered a massive stroke while driving my car! I avoided (by a few inches) going down a 20-foot cliff at 80 mph only to my passenger’s very quick action.

When I woke up in the NICU, I quickly realized that my life had drastically changed. My entire left side, which is my dominant side, was completely paralyzed! I could not walk, I could not move my left arm, but worst of all I could not move my toes which I entirely depended on to be independent.

After the initial shock wore off, I made plans with the doctors and nurses to go to a rehabilitation center for physical and occupational therapy.

I had one goal, and that was, to get my abilities back in no time at all.

Once I was at the rehab center, they told me I would stay there for three weeks, something I thought was definitely not reasonable. I thought I would be in and out in about a week!

I was not prepared for the effort, time and dedication it would take to learn how to walk again and to teach my toes not only to move, but to do all daily tasks, such as getting dressed, brushing my teeth, applying make up, typing on the computer etc. Instead of reaching my goal to independence fast and efficiently, I had to learn the art of patience.

Most people know, that anything worthwhile takes time and effort, but sometimes this idea gets lost, especially in the age of "instant everything".

In the past year I have learned patience is not about passively waiting, but about actively accepting the process (time) required to obtain goals. It is also a very purposeful and necessary form of self-discipline.

Instead of instant gratification I learned to be grateful for even the most humble gains.

The process of stroke recovery, or any worthy goal, takes conscious and determined effort, perseverance and the ability to deal with setbacks.

And a whole lot of patience.